I shared this story on Instagram a few weeks ago and it felt scary, which is exactly why I knew I must share it.
The response was overwhelmingly positive and helpful for many people, and thought you might find it helpful too…
I love going to my gynecologist. He never fails to shower me in complements and praise my exceptional health. He’s so encouraging sometimes that I’ve often doubted whether my OB’s complements are sincere. However, when I check in with myself, I realize YES! Of course it’s sincere.
I’m an amazing woman and I take incredible care of body. I’m proud of how I show up for myself – how I nourish myself with good food, kind words, and physical movement.
But today’s appointment was a bit different…
At the end of my exam, my gynecologist looked at me very seriously and said, “Okay, are you ready for a real compliment? Something I’ve never said to anyone, ever?”
My answer was of course, YES! But I was also a little uncertain.
He then goes on to say, “I truly mean this… In all my years as an OB I have seen thousands and thousands of women, and I have never met anyone who is as comfortable in their body as you are. Never.”
He went on to talk about how most everyone (men and women) are not remotely comfortable in their bodies. Especially women. I can’t think of anyone who would know this better than a man who has supported women’s health on an intimate level for almost 25 years.
I was both delighted and filled with grief at his words.
So, I’m taking this as a sign to not only celebrate how far I’ve come on my self-love journey, but also encourage you on yours.
Loving myself this openly feels scary, but I also know it’s the medicine we allll need.
I still have self-criticizing thoughts and emotions on a daily basis, but the self-love exercises + practices I’m about to share with you help me shift into new thought patterns and emotions within seconds.
I’ve been practicing many of these things for years. Be patient and keep showing up for yourself.
You are your greatest friend and ally!
10 SELF-LOVE PRACTICES + EXERCISES for everyday use
*** Do as often as needed ***
1. Write a Thank You letter to your body… every cell, limb, muscle, bone, vein, hair, nail, tissue, organ, heartbeat, and breath. Pour love and gratitude into every corner of your BEing. Try this meditation for extra support.
2. Stand or sit in front of a big mirror. Eye gaze with yourself for 15-30 minutes. Look deep into your own eyes and say these words, “I am worthy. I am valuable. I am whole. I am complete. I am supported. I am perfect, exactly as I am. I love myself.”
{Watch this video for extra support}
3. Have a conversation with your womb and pussy. Ask your womb what your purpose is in this world – what she wants to incubate, birth, and nurture in this life. Ask your pussy what would bring her pleasure, and do what she says, even if it’s as simple as taking a nap. This is a great writing exercise. (For men: Ask your gut and your heart these same questions).
4. Spend at least an hour a day consciously tending to your body. Take a long bath or shower. Use high-quality cleansers, creams, and cosmetics. Do your hair. Wear a nice shirt. Move your body. Eat good food.
5. Practice non-sexual self-touch. Hug yourself. Cup your face in your open hands. Lightly brush your fingertips up and down your arm. Feel yourself feeling yourself. Whisper kind words as you do this.
{Watch this video for gentle guidance}
6. Do a visualization exercise where you picture all the pain and trauma leaving your body for good. Then picture filling the empty space with radiant white-hot light. This meditation is very helpful.
7. Practice nudity. Sleep naked. Walk around the house naked. Don’t wear underwear or a bra for a whole day. Go to a clothing-optional soaking pool or nude beach. Attend a nude event, like World Naked Bike Ride. Being around naked people has shown me how every body is unique, perfect, and worth celebrating.
8. Get regular massages. This not only helps you get more comfortable being naked, it’s deeply relaxing and trains your body to let go.
9. Work with a coach, therapist, or energy healer who can help you release trauma from your body and support your self-love journey.
10. Attend an ecstatic dance class where you are encouraged to move your body in ways that feel good without judgment or concern for how it looks. (This was SO freeing for me!)
Try one, or a combination, of these practices every day for a week and note how much better you feel. I promise, you’re gonna feel good!
In the meantime, take a deep breath in… Exhale slowly, and repeat after me:
I am valuable.
I am lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe.
I am seen.
I am free.
I am gorgeous.
I am enough, exactly as I am.
Freedom + Joy are my birthright.
Now, stand up. Shake it out. Light a few candles. Turn on good music, and dance this body of yours around the room, repeating the above mantras.
Sending you sooooo much love today, and always.
xo – Jessica