Lesson 1 :: The Benefits of Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are an authentic transmission about yourself to other people. Boundaries help you feel cared for. They help you flourish and thrive. Boundaries bring joy, lightness, flow, and ease into your life. Boundaries are designed to help you expand while making peace with your limitations. With boundaries you are free to BE.

Lesson 2 :: Create Trust, Safety and Respect

When you practice healthy, compassionate boundaries, others feel respected by you because you mean what you say, and you say what you mean. Being honest about yourself is deeply compassionate and trust-building. Even if others are disappointed, they still feel respected and safe because you have treated them as capable. Think of someone you admire (real or fiction) for their honest, kind and trustworthy nature. Consider how you might learn from their example.

Lesson 3 :: People-Pleasing to Earn Self-Worth

You are valuable and worthy of love. You do not need to earn love and connection through DOing. You are enough, just as you are. When you drop the habit of people-pleasing you are choosing to find out you can be loved for who you are, not what you do. From this place, you are free to honor yourself and others without fear.

Lesson 4 :: Guilt, Shame and Obligation

You are worthy, valuable and deserving of respect and kindness even if others are disappointed or upset when you don’t do what they want you to do. Being forthright and honest about your limits without lying, making excuses or apologizing can cause fear and anxiety. Through love and compassion, you can stay the course. Remember, when others guilt, shame and manipulate you it’s about them, not you. You are not obligated to make others happy.

Lesson 5 :: Release Expectations

Release others from your expectations and hopes for them to be different. When you are able to accept others exactly as they are, you are free to decide for yourself what your limits are in your relationship with them without expectation for them to change. Don’t put your healing on hold because you’re waiting for someone else to do the work for you.

Lesson 6 :: Self-Care

You are a human BEing with limits. You need to be loved and cared for. Who better to do it than yourself? You know your deepest needs – what would replenish, revive and restore you – so you can enjoy your life with a sense of wellbeing? Self-care is monumentally important to practicing healthy and compassionate boundaries. You are valuable for you are, not for what you do. Taking care of yourself will help you feel less stressed, anxious and resentful.

Lesson 7 :: Simple Practices

Keep communication about your boundaries simple, kind and repetitive. Make room for others to feel disappointed and surprised at the changes you are making while continuing to honor your needs. Go slow and be gentle with yourself. This is new. Communicate your truth clearly and simply, and affirm for others how important they are to you through practicing compassionate boundaries.

Lesson 8 :: Learning to Say No

You are not mean, bad or rude for saying No. You are free to kindly and compassionately introduce No into your vocabulary without guilt or shame. No is a complete sentence and communicates your boundaries clearly and simply. When you say “no” to one thing, you are saying “yes” to something else. Practice saying No and discover all is well. You are well.

Lesson 9 :: Practice, Not Perfect

There’s no perfect way to practice boundaries. Have compassion for yourself and others as you explore this new way of BEing. Learn to listen to yourself and act according to your inner wisdom. You are a human BEing, not a human DOing. It takes time to change old patterns and behaviors. Let compassion guide you slowly and gently through the fear and anxiety.

Lesson 10 :: Freedom to Be Yourself

You are full of wonder, joy and delight. You are valuable and worthy of love. You are kind, compassionate and caring. You know your limits and knowing your limits creates freedom to be yourself, fully and completely in all you do. You are worth honoring and considering in EVERY decision you make. It’s the kindest most compassionate way. Boundaries support, create and sustain your freedom.